And we’re already at Thursday. I can’t believe it, in some ways. You’d think I’d get used to the days of the week flying by, but no, it’s always a surprise.
Anyway-so, Day 2 was much more conducive to me taking some time out for me. I got up early this morning, the boy made breakfast and I committed myself to sitting and trying to bring some quiet to my braincase for about 20 minutes. It was shaky–I have total monkey mind, especially since I’m out of practice, and I spent the first half of my time chasing thoughts around the ether–I thought about the blog post I was going to write, I thought about the laundry that I *have* to get done, the emails and phone calls that I knew I was going to be getting and needing to respond to, all of those things. I think it’s sort of funny how still and calm people can seem from the outside even though they are being bombarded with a flurry of thoughts and concerns and mental rambling on the inside.
So, once I got the barrage of thoughts to quiet down a bit in my head, I was able to find some peace–I won’t say that I hit that meditative sweet spot or anything but I feel like I made some progress. And, I got to enjoy the morning sunshine/strange cloudiness coming in through our living room window. So, a success.
Yesterday, was a different story. I did sit down and I did close my eyes and I did start counting my breath but boy, what I did was far from meditative. I was a ball of energy. I think it was an effect of too much sugar and too much to do on my list coupled with more stimulation from the people I was around. Oy. I’m glad, however, that I made the time to sit down. It’s a learning experience every time I come to the mat. Whether it’s for practice or reflection I know that I will get to see a side of myself that may not always be obvious.
So, as we march on to Day 3 I’m quickly realizing that it’s going to take more than a week to get good at this–but I’m going to start manageable and then work my way up. No action worse than inaction.
I have noticed that while I still have a bunch of stuff going on and I’m still scattered from hell ’til breakfast (to quote a friend of mine) I did have a bit more focus and ability to see things all the way through today than I have had in a while.
So-I’m marking the journey a success and I’m looking forward to tomorrow. Though, perhaps that’s missing the point?